My current experience with impostor syndrome
I suppose being a late teenager and getting into your twenties, you go into life with so many ideas of how things are supposed to go, how things are etc. After all, your life before university is almost as black and white, wrong and right as it can get. You are either a good student or a bad student, you are either a good child or a bad child, you are either a good friend or a bad friend. You get the idea. But then you get to experience life in its whole, I believe in university. You start to appreciate that life is not black and white but many many shades of grey.
That’s what happened to me this year. I was never scared to share information with people. I’d read dozens of books a year, listen to many podcasts and read many articles on how to be the best person I could be (I still do). I would then share this information. That was one of my motivations to start this blog, to have a place to share things I found interesting with people around me, hoping it’d help.
However, events that have happened this year, many that I caused to myself, have led me to question myself more. And it has led me to question who am I to say anything that I say? I suppose this is still me reeling from the events of this year and I will eventually get back to feeling like myself and writing regardless.
It really doesn’t matter
I have had plans to start a podcast for at least a year now and I will. I wanted to start it as a podcast to give advice and lessons that I have learnt from my very short life, especially to young, Christian boys. But again, the question springs up. Who am I to do that? The point of the podcast has now changed then. Instead of me giving advice (which I don’t have anyway), let me talk to people who are way ahead of me. Doctors, parents, pastors etc, people who obviously know something about life because I know nothing.
In summary, it’ll be a podcast where I selfishly talk to people who are way ahead of me in life and ask them questions that I have. I’ll be learning and hopefully, you’ll be learning too.
I wrote this today so that I am keep a public record of me going through impostor syndrome for the first time in my life and seeing how I will overcome it. Typing this, I am now questioning if ‘impostor syndrome’ is a problem anyway.😂 Maybe it’s a way for people to know their places in life.
But I will go back to my past cadence of posting things I would have found interesting. That shouldn’t cause any problems since the information wouldn’t be coming from me directly😂. And when the podcast comes around, it’ll be even better.
Key takeaway for me: I am not old enough to be giving ‘life advice’. Don’t I ever will or dare to.